How do you make things better?

 

Today would of been my 30th wedding anniversary...I am here in the studio doing my daily affirmation and being quiet with myself...the weather is changing and there is no longer snow on the ground...the air although chilly has a scent of Spring in it...birds are singing sweet songs outside my window...and the day begins...

 

Grief has changed for me over these past 4 years (Michael passed away on April 15th, 2011)...but there isn't some moment in every day when I remember the way he smiled or how every day upon waking he would say "good morning my beautiful bride" even though my hair stuck up like a chicken and I was shuffling to the coffee machine with my eyes half closed...How right in the middle of a disagreement he would look at me and tell me that he loved me and that I was just so cute when I was mad...that I had to laugh and found that there was nothing that was really that bad going on...

 

I am so grateful for the time we did have together...the good...the bad days...the up...the down days...all of the treasured memories that my heart holds...

 

And I ask myself...how can I make this better?

 

Some days the answers are easier than others...some days the laughter of my grandson shows me my good life in all its splendor...other days I see how far I have come on my own and I am proud of the fact that I replaced that toilet myself...or figured out how to make a dime turn into a dollar...I have had a book published...and yes I am stronger now...

 

The sweet song of the Robin outside my window reminds me that Winter is coming to an end...the new shoots coming up from the ground reminds me that everything will once again be in bloom...and this picture on my wedding day reminds me that LOVE stays with you forever and I am here to experience life for the better each and every day as truthfully as I can...and I know that even though Michael is not here in the flesh...he is here beside me...watching over me...leading me on...making me laugh...cheering for my successes...and he is here...forever in my heart...and that makes things better today...

 

How do you make things better?