Ok...so I get it...Caitlyn Jenner is in the public eye...and she is finally showing herself. OK...so that is brave...But is it anymore brave than what other people do every day?
There are others that went before her and they did it without being in the public eye...they were brave! There are people who have stage 4 cancer and get up every morning making their day the best they can....they are brave! There are others who are going through hardships and yet they make an effort each day to be the best person that they can be...they too are brave...
I personally am a little tired of seeing Caitlyn all over the news and tabloids...on magazine covers and getting awards for how brave she is...really?! I suppose there is nothing else in the world to talk about....there is nothing more important than what she is doing...there is no one who is just as brave or braver than she is...REALLY?!
So just how brave are you? Cause I know that there has been something in everyone's life at one time or another that made them brave...everyone...not just Caitlyn Jenner...
OK...stepping off my soap box!
How "perfect" are you?
Today, I am wondering just how "perfect" any of us thinks we are...and what would make anyone think they are perfect?
Within the past 6 months questions have risen in my life that question who I really am...not questions I have been asking...but questions from another...and it has caused me to wonder if anyone can live up to another's standards...Is anyone or anything perfect? and what makes us believe that our answer is the right answer for someone else? Do we really have any right to tell someone else how they should act or respond? How they must do things in order to fit into our world...and if they do not live up to our standards of perfection than they can not be a part of our life...
We have all done things that may have hurt others...most of the time it is done unintentionally...but if we are not made aware of it at the time we cannot explain or apologize for something that hurt someone else...and when you hold on to that you begin only to look at the negative that is going on around you...is anyone so "perfect" that they can truly tell another how to act...how to talk...what to do...or how to do it???
This "perfection" is teaching me a great deal...I know that I cannot live up to anyone's standards...and no one can promise that they will do everything right according to another...we each must follow our own path...
I know more now about myself than I use to...I have more strength and courage than I have had in more than 45 years...I know I have made mistakes along this path...but I have finally allowed myself to learn from my patterns...and I realize that some things that may be hurting me at the moment will eventually turn themselves around...That there will be losses in my life but if I allow myself time to grieve them I will be left with the joy of the memories...everything that happens in our life helps us to grow...
I know I will get through all of this and be stronger and wiser than before...and I know that nothing in life is perfect...and certainly I hope to always be a work in progress...learning as I go along...and loving the best way that I can...
So...how perfect are you?
Within the past 6 months questions have risen in my life that question who I really am...not questions I have been asking...but questions from another...and it has caused me to wonder if anyone can live up to another's standards...Is anyone or anything perfect? and what makes us believe that our answer is the right answer for someone else? Do we really have any right to tell someone else how they should act or respond? How they must do things in order to fit into our world...and if they do not live up to our standards of perfection than they can not be a part of our life...
We have all done things that may have hurt others...most of the time it is done unintentionally...but if we are not made aware of it at the time we cannot explain or apologize for something that hurt someone else...and when you hold on to that you begin only to look at the negative that is going on around you...is anyone so "perfect" that they can truly tell another how to act...how to talk...what to do...or how to do it???
This "perfection" is teaching me a great deal...I know that I cannot live up to anyone's standards...and no one can promise that they will do everything right according to another...we each must follow our own path...
I know more now about myself than I use to...I have more strength and courage than I have had in more than 45 years...I know I have made mistakes along this path...but I have finally allowed myself to learn from my patterns...and I realize that some things that may be hurting me at the moment will eventually turn themselves around...That there will be losses in my life but if I allow myself time to grieve them I will be left with the joy of the memories...everything that happens in our life helps us to grow...
I know I will get through all of this and be stronger and wiser than before...and I know that nothing in life is perfect...and certainly I hope to always be a work in progress...learning as I go along...and loving the best way that I can...
So...how perfect are you?
Is it better to have loved and lost...or to never have loved at all?
Someone once asked me this age old question years ago...and my answer at the time was "to never have loved at all...but I was in the middle of pain that I could not let go off...Which I think is a pretty normal answer for anyone who is in pain...you figure if it never happened then you would not be feeling this way...
This morning as I contemplate this question my answer is totally different...perhaps that is because I am older (and perhaps wiser...LOL)...and a lot has to do with my mindset at the present time...
My answer is..."to have loved and lost"...WHY?
A shift in thinking...When most of us are in the middle of a loss we tend to focus on the negative...the "oh dear what am I suppose to do now?"...the "how will I survive?"...the "what did I do wrong and how can I fix this?"
When we could look to the positive...
I know that is not easy to do...but there are so many silver linings to every situation that we go through...we learn so many lessons about ourselves...we have wonderful memories despite going through this "loss"...in every situation we have the opportunity to grow...even in loss...we can find hidden strength that we did not even know we had...we can find a better path for ourselves...we can remember who we are and what we truly want out of life...and we can realize that we are worthy of love...and we can be kind and gentle with ourselves...
Sometimes we do love and we do lose...but to have never loved at all seems to me at this moment to be a very lonely place...
I choose LOVE!
What about you? Which one is better?
This morning as I contemplate this question my answer is totally different...perhaps that is because I am older (and perhaps wiser...LOL)...and a lot has to do with my mindset at the present time...
My answer is..."to have loved and lost"...WHY?
A shift in thinking...When most of us are in the middle of a loss we tend to focus on the negative...the "oh dear what am I suppose to do now?"...the "how will I survive?"...the "what did I do wrong and how can I fix this?"
When we could look to the positive...
I know that is not easy to do...but there are so many silver linings to every situation that we go through...we learn so many lessons about ourselves...we have wonderful memories despite going through this "loss"...in every situation we have the opportunity to grow...even in loss...we can find hidden strength that we did not even know we had...we can find a better path for ourselves...we can remember who we are and what we truly want out of life...and we can realize that we are worthy of love...and we can be kind and gentle with ourselves...
Sometimes we do love and we do lose...but to have never loved at all seems to me at this moment to be a very lonely place...
I choose LOVE!
What about you? Which one is better?
What do you do with an idea?
What do you do with an idea?
I recently purchased a children's book with this title...written by Kobi Yamada and illustrated by Mae Besom. The story is one that everyone would benefit from...that while we can appreciate and consider people's input into our lives...we must follow our own inner guidance.
As a parent I had hopes and dreams for my children as they grew...when they were very young of course I wanted them to be safe...then as they became school age my hope was that they do well to reach their potential...and as they became older I dreamt of the perfect partner and a great job.
I know I have been guilty of having ideas of how they should live their lives...sometimes because I saw danger on the path they were traveling...other times out of my own desires for them...or because it was some sort of need within me...
But now as I reach a certain age...and my children are no longer children, but rather full grown adults I realize that all I really desire for them is to be happy and healthy. That I want them to know that I stand behind their judgement calls for themselves...that I do not wish for them to have any self doubt...that they can come to me and talk about anything without feeling that I am judgemental...and that I have always loved them...and nothing could ever change that.
We have to live our own lives and make our own decisions. We need to learn our own life lessons by following our own path and using our own judgments...our ideas belong to us alone and regardless of what others think we must either put them into action because that is our true desire or we let them go.
At my age I realize that when I see that they are happy with their life and their path I know they are headed toward their own goals...and I am assured that all I really need to do is share in their joy and happiness...and if they are sad I am a loving ear to listen to them as they work it out...
So what do you do with an idea?
I recently purchased a children's book with this title...written by Kobi Yamada and illustrated by Mae Besom. The story is one that everyone would benefit from...that while we can appreciate and consider people's input into our lives...we must follow our own inner guidance.
As a parent I had hopes and dreams for my children as they grew...when they were very young of course I wanted them to be safe...then as they became school age my hope was that they do well to reach their potential...and as they became older I dreamt of the perfect partner and a great job.
I know I have been guilty of having ideas of how they should live their lives...sometimes because I saw danger on the path they were traveling...other times out of my own desires for them...or because it was some sort of need within me...
But now as I reach a certain age...and my children are no longer children, but rather full grown adults I realize that all I really desire for them is to be happy and healthy. That I want them to know that I stand behind their judgement calls for themselves...that I do not wish for them to have any self doubt...that they can come to me and talk about anything without feeling that I am judgemental...and that I have always loved them...and nothing could ever change that.
We have to live our own lives and make our own decisions. We need to learn our own life lessons by following our own path and using our own judgments...our ideas belong to us alone and regardless of what others think we must either put them into action because that is our true desire or we let them go.
At my age I realize that when I see that they are happy with their life and their path I know they are headed toward their own goals...and I am assured that all I really need to do is share in their joy and happiness...and if they are sad I am a loving ear to listen to them as they work it out...
So what do you do with an idea?
How do you make things better?
Today would of been my 30th wedding anniversary...I am here in the studio doing my daily affirmation and being quiet with myself...the weather is changing and there is no longer snow on the ground...the air although chilly has a scent of Spring in it...birds are singing sweet songs outside my window...and the day begins...
Grief has changed for me over these past 4 years (Michael passed away on April 15th, 2011)...but there isn't some moment in every day when I remember the way he smiled or how every day upon waking he would say "good morning my beautiful bride" even though my hair stuck up like a chicken and I was shuffling to the coffee machine with my eyes half closed...How right in the middle of a disagreement he would look at me and tell me that he loved me and that I was just so cute when I was mad...that I had to laugh and found that there was nothing that was really that bad going on...
I am so grateful for the time we did have together...the good...the bad days...the up...the down days...all of the treasured memories that my heart holds...
And I ask myself...how can I make this better?
Some days the answers are easier than others...some days the laughter of my grandson shows me my good life in all its splendor...other days I see how far I have come on my own and I am proud of the fact that I replaced that toilet myself...or figured out how to make a dime turn into a dollar...I have had a book published...and yes I am stronger now...
The sweet song of the Robin outside my window reminds me that Winter is coming to an end...the new shoots coming up from the ground reminds me that everything will once again be in bloom...and this picture on my wedding day reminds me that LOVE stays with you forever and I am here to experience life for the better each and every day as truthfully as I can...and I know that even though Michael is not here in the flesh...he is here beside me...watching over me...leading me on...making me laugh...cheering for my successes...and he is here...forever in my heart...and that makes things better today...
How do you make things better?
What would LOVE do?
I know I have said this before, but I am not a religious person...that is not as far as main stream religion goes...but I am a spiritual person...I believe in a higher being but that being is within all of us...
There are many things out today with WWJD (what would Jesus do) on them...from bracelets to plaques and shirts...my question today is WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?
How many times have you been caught up in patterns that are unhealthy for you?...patterns that make you a victim, perpetrator or martyr...and where do these patterns come from? For me they come from fear...they come from relating to situations in a certain way each and every time they enter my life...and I am not finding it healthy...so when caught in a situation I ask myself one simple question: What would love do?
What I am finding is when I ask myself this question I begin to soften...the situation starts to become clearer to me...and where I once found myself as a victim...I am now finding myself with truth...where I once found myself as a perpetrator...I am now finding myself with forgiveness...where I once found myself with being the martyr...I am now finding myself with letting go...
Some days it takes more courage to choose love...but I am reminded of a verse from a song that my son shared with me..."Brave" by Sara Bareilles..."...Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live. Maybe one of these days, you can let the light in. Show me how big your brave is."
I am allowing Love to make choices for me...choices that heal my heart and allow me to grow...I think about a plaque that was given to my late husband and I when we got married that hung in our bedroom for many years...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I choose to be brave...I choose LOVE!
What do you think? What would LOVE do?
There are many things out today with WWJD (what would Jesus do) on them...from bracelets to plaques and shirts...my question today is WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?
How many times have you been caught up in patterns that are unhealthy for you?...patterns that make you a victim, perpetrator or martyr...and where do these patterns come from? For me they come from fear...they come from relating to situations in a certain way each and every time they enter my life...and I am not finding it healthy...so when caught in a situation I ask myself one simple question: What would love do?
What I am finding is when I ask myself this question I begin to soften...the situation starts to become clearer to me...and where I once found myself as a victim...I am now finding myself with truth...where I once found myself as a perpetrator...I am now finding myself with forgiveness...where I once found myself with being the martyr...I am now finding myself with letting go...
Some days it takes more courage to choose love...but I am reminded of a verse from a song that my son shared with me..."Brave" by Sara Bareilles..."...Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live. Maybe one of these days, you can let the light in. Show me how big your brave is."
I am allowing Love to make choices for me...choices that heal my heart and allow me to grow...I think about a plaque that was given to my late husband and I when we got married that hung in our bedroom for many years...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I choose to be brave...I choose LOVE!
What do you think? What would LOVE do?
Action or not?
Action or not?
I am wondering today how others deal with hurt feelings...do you take action on them or not?
I know people who address hurt feelings with the wrath of God...they bear down and spew every piece of ventom that they have...when this happens things usually get bigger and bigger than they ever were and the hurt cuts deep...
I know people who shove those hurt feelings down...cover them up...say they don't matter, when they do...they cause a depression in themselves that causes havoc in their life that they just don't know how to fix...
I know people who simply run from hurt...
I know people who try to find the root of the hurt in order to heal...they try to understand the other person so that they can work through the hurt...
I use to be one of those people who shoved everything down...down deep and covered it up with all sorts of things...and then I became one of the fight or flight people who would stomp my foot and fight for what I believed was right (didn't matter if it really was or not) or I would run as fast as I could from the situation in order not to deal with it...
As I have aged I tend to explore my heart...and I usually find that nothing is really hurting me...it hurts my ego...If I look to the root of the hurt I usually find that it has more to do with old baggage of my own...old patterns...fear or not having a voice...
I know that hurt feelings for me causes saddness...and I know that saddness is a very natural feeling...saddness sends me a message that something needs to change...and with age I am learning that I am capable of using my inner strength to deal with that change...to deal with my emotions...and to find the right way to work through those feelings without blaming someone else...
So...when you find yourself feeling hurt and sad by things how do you deal with them?
Do you take action or not?
I am wondering today how others deal with hurt feelings...do you take action on them or not?
I know people who address hurt feelings with the wrath of God...they bear down and spew every piece of ventom that they have...when this happens things usually get bigger and bigger than they ever were and the hurt cuts deep...
I know people who shove those hurt feelings down...cover them up...say they don't matter, when they do...they cause a depression in themselves that causes havoc in their life that they just don't know how to fix...
I know people who simply run from hurt...
I know people who try to find the root of the hurt in order to heal...they try to understand the other person so that they can work through the hurt...
I use to be one of those people who shoved everything down...down deep and covered it up with all sorts of things...and then I became one of the fight or flight people who would stomp my foot and fight for what I believed was right (didn't matter if it really was or not) or I would run as fast as I could from the situation in order not to deal with it...
As I have aged I tend to explore my heart...and I usually find that nothing is really hurting me...it hurts my ego...If I look to the root of the hurt I usually find that it has more to do with old baggage of my own...old patterns...fear or not having a voice...
I know that hurt feelings for me causes saddness...and I know that saddness is a very natural feeling...saddness sends me a message that something needs to change...and with age I am learning that I am capable of using my inner strength to deal with that change...to deal with my emotions...and to find the right way to work through those feelings without blaming someone else...
So...when you find yourself feeling hurt and sad by things how do you deal with them?
Do you take action or not?
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